The writer’s life can be a lonely one—especially when you’re buried in your keyboard. It’s important to make an effort now and then to break out and connect with others. It’s become clearer in recent years just how essential social connection is for our well-being. A vibrant social life often means less stress, better health, and even a longer life. We were all cut off from society during the COVID-19 pandemic—we had no choice. That level of isolation was never healthy, and it took a long time after the pandemic to relearn how to mix with people again. I’m still seeking out opportunities to talk and connect with others.

So when I read about a poetry class happening in my area, my interest was piqued. Here’s the blurb I saw:

"Writing can sometimes feel like a solitary effort, but a reading and critique group can offer support and feedback, boost your confidence, and open new insights into your work. The class begins with a close reading of poems by contemporary poets to spark fresh ideas. Then we’ll share pieces of our own efforts and offer comments to each writer."

Even though I was quite nervous about it, I signed up. I had already written a poem that I planned to share in the class.

I was a little late to the first class, as parking had been hard to find. The other writers and Anna, the instructor, were already seated around a table. I pulled out a chair and sat down.

Then we all introduced ourselves. I noticed that, except for Anna, we were all around the same age. She was at least ten years younger. Most of the group already knew each other from previous classes with Anna. It didn’t take long for me to realize she was an excellent teacher and facilitator—warm, friendly, and genuinely good at conversation.

To start, she handed out a few contemporary poems. One of us read one aloud, and another read the next. Then she asked us questions about each poem such as:
“What did you think of the poem?”
“What is the poet saying, in your view?”
“What aspects did you like best, and why?”

We had a lively discussion about the poems, and I found it fascinating to hear everyone’s views, including Anna’s. I had to gather my own thoughts and share them with the group as well. I hadn’t read these poems before, and I discovered a new appreciation for contemporary poetry. I learned about poets I hadn’t encountered before—like Derek Sheffield, Sharon Olds, and Mike Saye. Their work had a clarity and emotional depth that impressed me. They conveyed so much in so few words. That’s the magic of poetry—something deeply inspiring.

As the saying goes, a good start is half the battle—and it was true in this case. In the second part of the class, the focus turned to us students. One by one, we read our own poems aloud and listened to the group’s feedback. Before the class, I had assumed I’d be mortified to read my poem aloud to strangers—let alone listen to them critique my precious work.

But it wasn’t like that at all. Anna was excellent at guiding the discussion, keeping everything constructive. She praised what we’d written while also gently pointing out weaknesses and problems—without making anyone feel bad. She modeled how to critique positively, and we followed suit. Anna fostered a safe, open atmosphere, and we were able to be honest with each other.

I read my poem aloud and got some incredibly helpful feedback. I revised the piece based on the input, and I’m very happy with the result. No doubt about it, I’m getting huge value from this class, and I’m glad I overcame my reluctance to join. If you ever get the chance to go out, meet people, do something together, and share—don’t hesitate. Don’t overthink it. Just go!

In that same spirit of openness, I’ll finish by sharing the poem I wrote and revised. I hope you enjoy it!

Scríobhaim

Tapping away on his old Olivetti,
Dad's keystrokes were the heartbeat of our childhood,
with silences and Tippex smells
syncopating the background music
of our mundane life rituals.

Mum fed the short breaks in her long day
with library-fueled visions
of a kinder, grander world.

Ón ithir thorthúil chruthaitheach seo,
D’fhás peann i mo lámha óga díograiseacha.
Bhínn ag scríobh, ag scríobh, ag scríobh,
go dtí gur lean foirm feidhm,
agus sa deireadh thiar thall –
nochtadh an scríbhneoir ionam.

Guitar Lesson

During the COVID-19 pandemic, I started learning guitar online. It wasn’t live classes, but pre-recorded online classes. I really enjoyed them, and I studied and practiced diligently for a few years. Then, it occurred to me that I was almost finished with the course, and I didn’t know what to do next to learn more. I emailed the class teacher, Doctor McAllister, asking for his advice on the subject. What he said was that he would be in my area in a few weeks, and that he would be happy to meet me and have a class together. Although I was nervous about it, I accepted the suggestion. A few weeks later, we met and started the class.

I thought we would probably play songs together over and over again, until I could play it really well. But that wasn’t the case at all. He only asked me to play a song a few times, while he played rhythm guitar as accompaniment. Then, we stopped and this is what he said to me:

“You can learn and play songs, so we don’t need to spend time on that. It’s time for you to learn techniques, so it will be easier for you to improve and reach the next level.” Then, he showed me that my left hand was not in the correct orientation on the fretboard, but it was tilted. He was right, and although it was easy for him to see, I hadn’t noticed it before.

“Your muscles are too tight, Michael, and it’s hard to have facility of style without loose muscles. So relax before you play!” said Dr. McAllister.

Insight

That caught my attention right away, as my wife had recently said the same thing to me. We had been on a bus trip for a few weeks – something I was nervous about beforehand, as I get motion sickness quite easily. Fortunately, I didn’t have much of a problem with it this time. But my wife noticed something when the bus was rocking back and forth. “You’re fighting the motion of the bus, and you’re tensing instead of just letting go. You’ve got tight muscles not just on the bus, but all the time, and that’s not a good thing. You need to do something about that!” she said.

Both my wife and my guitar teacher were clear that I had a problem with stress, but what on earth could I do about it?

Recommendation

I asked ChatGPT (Artificial Intelligence) what the best way for me to relieve physical tension and mental stress was, and here is the answer I got back (which I have edited):

The best way for you to relieve physical tension and mental stress is to do deep breathing combined with movement – for example, yoga, tai chi, or mindful walking.

• Why? Gentle movement is combined with controlled breathing - which releases muscle tension and reduces stress levels in the mind.
• How to do it? Choose an activity that brings a natural rhythm to your breathing and movement - which will allow your body and mind to connect together in a state of relaxation and balance.

If you had to choose one, mindful walking is the simplest and most effective option.

Crazy Old Man

One day, when famous investor Marc Andreessen was driving in Palo Alto in Silicon Valley, he almost hit a crazy old man crossing the road. Looking back, he noticed the man was wearing a turtleneck and blue jeans. “Oh my God, I almost hit Steve Jobs!” Andreessen said to himself. He was right. Jobs was walking near his company - Apple. He was famous in the area for the long walks he would take. He believed that there were great benefits to walking – for exercise and meditation, for solving problems, and even for holding business meetings. He was right, and experts agree that walking has these benefits.

I hope you don't think I'm crazy, walking every day like Steve Jobs, or Forrest Gump! But despite that risk, I will continue with the same walks, because they are already doing me good, no doubt. The walks get rid of physical and mental stress, and if you have stress of any kind, put on your shoes and go for a walk!

I had been as brave as a lion up until the day before the operation. But then the truth hit me, and I realized for the first time that it was a heart operation. I had understood the words earlier but I did not understand them personally and as they applied to me. That operation would have been easy for another person, but now I understood correctly that it was not for another person. I might die, I told myself. Don’t be silly, said another voice in my head. It is a minor operation, and I will be back home tomorrow evening. All right, said the other voice, if everything goes without a problem, but there might be a problem, and what would happen then? The other voice was ready for it. You are as safe as a bank note, son! Doctor Gibson performs the same operation day after day, and his patients have never had a major problem. And another thing, he told you about the new, even safer surgical technique that he is currently practicing. The surgery is shorter, and people are back to their old selves more quickly too. I understand, says the first voice, but can’t I avoid any risks and continue with my medication regimen? But there are risks involved in that direction too. Your atrial fibrillation is getting worse over time, and it’s already a life-limiting condition. Not only that, but it’s more likely than not that you’ll have no other option but to have the surgery in the years to come. In that case, the surgery might not be as successful when your disease is more advanced.

I understand what you are saying, sensible voice, and although I am still worried about it, the right thing to do is to have the operation without delay.

With that I went to bed and in the morning I prepared to go into the hospital. I had a fasting day before the operation because I was going to have a general anaesthetic.

I was told to come in at eleven o’clock. After half an hour in the waiting room I was taken into the pre-operative room. I put on a surgical gown, and then I had to wait. My wife was with me and we were able to talk and chat together. Unfortunately, however, the surgeon had a few difficult cases that delayed my operation. It was a long day, and at five o’clock the surgeon arrived and was sorry that my case was delayed, and that he was going to do the operation anyway, and that I would have to stay in hospital overnight. My wife was then able to go home, and the surgeon would call her after the operation.

Bhí mé stiúgtha leis an ocras agus spalptha leis an tart, ach ní raibh mé in ann bia nó deoch a bheith agam. Tar éis tamaill, chuir an ainéistéiseolaí é féin in aithne dom, agus chuir sé cúpla cheist orm chun cinntiú go raibh gach rud i gceart. D’inis sé dom faoin bpróiseas maidir leis an ainéistéiseach, agus go n-ionsáfaí tiúb i mo scornach chun cuidiú le m’análú le linn na hobráide.

Finally, around seven o’clock at night, I was taken into the operating room and then onto the operating table. There were large machines on each side and a wall of screens showing all kinds of measurements and images. There were also medical staff in the room, all of whom were very busy doing various tasks. One person placed sensors on my chest and back. Then, I was laid down. The anesthesiologist was positioned behind me. The surgeon was not there yet.

The next thing I knew, I was in the pre-operative room, and awake. A nurse told me that everything went well, and that my heart was now in the right rhythm – which I saw on screens next to my bed. I was taken to another building on a trolley, and into a nice room with a nice view of the city of San Diego. I had to stay in bed for four hours, to make sure there was no problem with my femoral artery bleeding. A nurse gave me water and food (crackers). I ate everything there was and drank a lot of water. I couldn’t go to sleep because of a slight pain in my chest. The nurse gave me medicine to relieve my pain, and before long I was able to sleep.

Early in the morning, I ordered a big breakfast, and promptly ate it. Then, I texted my wife, and then I called her. She was so happy to hear from me, and she said that the surgeon had called her after the operation, saying that he was happy with the operation, and that I was recovering.

My wife arrived at the hospital, and by lunchtime we were checked out and on our way home. I had received post-operative orders, and the main order was to take it easy for a week – no exercise other than walking, and no heavy lifting. I followed the instructions without question, and I had no problems. I then resumed my normal activities, including exercise. I had no problems at all, quite the opposite. I felt better than ever, and I was able to do everything and more after the surgery than before. It’s almost two months since the surgery as I write this, and I’m going from strength to strength in terms of energy. If you have any irregularity in your heart rhythm, I would recommend that you go to the doctor immediately. And if you have fibrillation, be sure to ask the specialist about ablation. That surgery could radically change your life and give you back your health. And don’t worry about it, the benefits are definitely worth the trouble!

One minute, I felt fine. Then, without warning, it was as if a strong hand had grabbed my heart and started shaking and squeezing it wildly. I had a big problem! We went to St. Luke’s General Hospital in Kilkenny right away, my wife driving. There were many other people waiting in the emergency department, with all sorts of things wrong with them. It took me four hours to see the doctor and by then my heart had settled down. The first time the doctor checked my blood pressure I had high blood pressure, but when he checked it again it was normal. I said I was stressed, because my father had recently died, and it wasn’t easy for me to deal with that. The doctor told me that was the problem, and that it was important for me to do breathing exercises every day, and that it would help me to get rid of the stress of life. That was it! Let’s go home again!

To me, the situation was still unresolved, since I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I did what the doctor recommended, which I still do every day. That was all very well! We got back to California the next week, and we continued with our normal routine. It gave me a false sense of security for a while, and I was thinking that the doctor was right and that it was just stress. I had barely forgotten it when it happened again. I was able to go to my doctor the same day, and he did an electrocardiogram (ECG). He said that my heart was beating too early from time to time, but that was not a problem. I went home, but I didn’t feel right. I made another appointment with my doctor, and he did another electrocardiogram. “Oh!” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t see this last time, but you have atrial fibrillation, or ‘A-Fib’!”

“That’s what I thought, doctor!” I said. “Atrial fibrillation runs in my family, so it’s no wonder I have it now.” I was then referred to a cardiologist. The cardiologist ran all sorts of tests on my heart—an ECG, an MRI, an echocardiogram, and a stress test on a treadmill. I still had A-Fib, and the cardiologist prescribed medication to stop the irregularity in my heart rhythm. It took more than a week, but eventually my heart rhythm returned to a normal, or regular, rhythm. Then the doctor prescribed a few medications, including an anticoagulant. He said that people with A-Fib had a much higher risk of having a stroke.

I continued like this for a few years, when I had another episode of A-Fib. The doctor prescribed medication, and when I took it, it stopped the A-Fib. He told me to take that medication whenever I had an A-Fib. At first, I only had an A-Fib episode a few times a year. But gradually, the A-Fib happened more often. Even though I was able to stop it, it wasn’t nice to be in A-Fib. I felt uncomfortable and anxious every time I had an A-Fib, and it took three or four hours for the medication to stop it.

Finally, the cardiologist said it was time for me to see an electrophysiologist. An electrophysiologist is a specialist who specializes in the electrical system of the heart. This system controls the heart rate as well as the contraction and relaxation of the heart muscle. When you have A-Fib, there is a problem with the electrical circuit in your heart, so that your heart does not beat regularly in a normal manner. As a result, the heart does not work as well as it should, in terms of circulating blood. This causes you to feel short of breath and tired, as well as feeling chest discomfort.

I saw the electrophysiologist right away, and he reviewed the test results from the cardiologist. Dr. Gibson is an honest, easy-to-understand man, and he said that I could continue with the medication, if I wanted. But he said that I also had another option, which was to have an ablation. He then explained to me what this medical procedure involved. I would be under general anesthesia during the operation. A catheter would be inserted into the femoral artery, and then up the artery and into my heart. Pulses of electrical energy would be used to kill the diseased tissue in the heart's electrical system. There would then be a good chance that the A-Fib would be gone completely or at least for a good while. “You have the information now, and you have to make the decision!” Dr. Gibson told me. “There's no rush – think about it, and get back to me with your decision then.” I didn’t have to think. “If I have a good chance of getting rid of that disease, even for a while, the benefit would be worth the trouble. How soon can the operation be done?” I said.

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